The Enabler Substance abuse and substance dependency can have devastating consequences for the individual using the substances as well as for those closely associated with them. Of most concern is the person who may live with the substance abusing person or who spends a significant amount of time with them. Typically, they begin to react to the symptoms of the individual, which results in the "concerned person" unsuspectingly conspiring with the dysfunctional behavior/illness and actually enabling it to progress and get worse. This "enabling" behavior surrounds and feeds the dependency. How does the dysfunctional behaviors/illness affect the dependent person? For the substance dependent person, they completely lose their ability to predict accurately when they will start and stop their substance use. Because of this, they become engaged repeatedly and unexpectedly in such behaviors as: • Breaking commitments that they intended to keep. • Spending more money than they planned • Driving under the influence that may result in DWI violations • Making inappropriate statements to friends, family, and co-workers • Engaging in arguing, fighting, and other antisocial behaviors • Using more of the substance(s) than they had planned • Lying These types of behaviors violate their internal value system resulting in feelings of guilt, remorse, and self-loathing. However, these feelings get blocked by rationalizations. The rationalization is that "last night wasn’t that bad." The projection causes the individual to believe that "anyone would be doing what I am doing it they had to put up with what I do." The effects of such use of definses is to progressively lead the person to be out of touch with reality. This distortion becomes so solid that the individual using substnaces or engaging in other dysfunctional behaviors is the last to recognize that their behavior represents any type of personal problem. What is an enabler? It is the person who reacts to the above symptom of illness or dysfunctional behavior in such a way as to shield and protect them from experiencing the consequences of their problem. Thus, they lose the opportunity to gain insight regarding the severity of their behavior. Without this insight they remain a victim of the defenses and are incapable of recognizing the need to seek appropriate and necessary help. Tragically, the enabler’s well-intentioned behavior plays an increasingly destructive role in the progression of the illness/dysfunctional behaviors. The enabler may be in denial themselves about the significance or severity of the problem. Their thinking may be that the problem does not really exist or that it will disappear as soon as the real problem disappears. This makes the enabler highly vulnerable to developing beliefs and attitudes which victimize the individual engaging in a substance abusing/dysfunctional behaviors. The rationalizations of both persons are now supporting each other’s misunderstanding of the true nature of the problem. The result is that they are both engaged in a successful self-deception which allows the disease to remain hidden and to progress to a more serious stage. Reference: Therapist’s Guide to Clinical Intervention, Academic Press, 1997 We are interested in your questions and comments. Contact Cece Arnold, ncrlcca@mchsi.com, 515-270-2634, National Catholic Rural Life Conference, 4625 Beaver Avenue, Des Moines, IA 50310-2199